COCCOTTI
Do you know who I am, Mr. Worley?
CLIFF
I give up. Who are you?
COCCOTTI
I’m the Anti-Christ. You get me in a vendetta kind of mood, you will tell the angels in heaven that you had never seen pure evil so singularly personified as you did in the face of the man who killed you. My name is Vincenzo Coccotti. I work as a counsel for Mr. Blue Lou Boyle, the man your son stole from. I hear you were once a cop so I assume you’ve heard of us before. Am I correct?
CLIFF
I’ve heard of Blue Lou Boyle.
COCCOTTI
I’m glad. Hopefully that will clear up the how-full-of-****-I-am question you’ve been asking yourself. We’re gonna have a little Q and A, and, at the risk of sounding redundant, please make your answers genuine. Want a Chesterfield?
CLIFF
No.
COCCOTTI
I have a son of my own. About you boy’s age. I can imagine how painful this must be for you. But Clarence and that *****-***** girlfriend of his brought this all on themselves. And I implore you not to go down the road with ‘em. You can always take comfort in the fact that you never had a choice.
CLIFF
Look, I’d like to help ya if I could, but I haven’t seen Clarence.
COCCOTTI
Ya see that?
Coccotti slams him hard in the nose with
his fist.
COCCOTTI
Smarts, don’t it? Gettin’ slammed in the nose ****s you all up. You got that pain shootin’ through your brain. Your eyes fill up with water. It ain’t any kind of fun. But what I have to offer you. That’s as good as it’s gonna get, and it won’t ever get that good again. We talked to your neighbors. They saw a Cadillac, a purple Cadillac, Clarence’s purple Cadillac, parked in front of your trailer yesterday. Mr. Worley, have you seen your son?
CLIFF
I’ve seen him.
COCCOTTI
I can’t be sure of how much of what he told you. So in the chance you’re in the dark about some of this, let me shed some light. That ***** your boy hangs around with, her pimp is an associate of mine, and I don’t just mean pimpin’, in other affairs he works for me in a courier capacity. Well, apparently, that dirty little ***** found out when we’re gonna do some business, ’cause your son, the cowboy and his flame, came in the room blazing’ and didn’t stop till they were pretty sure everybody was dead.
CLIFF
What are you talkin’ about?
COCCOTTI
I’m talkin’ about a massacre. They snatched my narcotics and hightailed it outta there. Wouldda gotten away with it, but your son, ****head that he is, left his driver’s license in a dead guy’s hand.
CLIFF
Ya know, I don’t believe you.
COCCOTTI
That’s of minor importance. What is of major ****in’ importance is that I believe you. Where did they go?
CLIFF
On their honeymoon.
COCCOTTI
I’m gettin’ angry askin’ the same question a second time. Where did they go?
CLIFF
They didn’t tell me.
CLIFF
Now, you just wait a minute and listen to me. I haven’t seen Clarence in three years. He shows up yesterday with a young girl, sayin’ that he got married. He asked for uh, some quick cash to go on a honeymoon. He asked me if he could borrow five hundred dollars. I felt like helping him so I wrote
him out a check. We went to breakfast in the morning, and that’s the last I saw of him. So help me God. They never thought to tell me where they were goin’. And I never thought to ask.
Coccotti looks at him for a long moment. He then gives Virgil a look. Virgil, quick as greased lightning, grabs Cliff’s hand and turns it palm up. He then whips out a butterfly knife and slices Cliff’s palm open and pours Chivas Regal on the wound. Cliff screams.
COCCOTTI
You know, Sicilians are great liars. The best in the world. I’m Sicilian. My father was the world heavyweight champion of Sicilian liars. From growing up with him I learned the pantomime. There are seventeen different things a guy can do when he lies to give himself away. A guy’s got seventeen pantomimes. A woman’s got twenty, a guy’s got seventeen. But if you know ‘em like ya know your own face, they beat lie detectors all to hell. Now what we got here is a little game of show and tell. You don’t wanna show me nothin’. But you’re tellin’ me everything. I know you know where they are. So tell me, before I do some damage you won’t walk away from.
CLIFF
Could I have one of those Chesterfields now?
COCCOTTI
Sure.
CLIFF
Got a match?
Oh, don’t bother. I got one.
(he lights the cigarette)
You’re Sicilian, huh?
COCCOTTI
Yes, Sicilian.
CLIFF
You know I read a lot. Especially about things that have to do with history. I find that **** fascinating. Here is a fact, I don’t know whether you know or not, Sicilians were spawned by niggers.
COCCOTTI
Come again?
CLIFF
It’s a fact. You see, Sicilians have black blood pumpin’ through their hearts. If you don’t believe me, you can look it up. Hundreds and hundreds of years ago the Moors conquered Sicily. And the Moors are niggers. You see way back then, Sicilians were like wops from northern Italy. They all had blond hair and blue eyes. But, then the Moors moved in there, they changed the whole country. They did so much ****in’ with the Sicilian women, that they changed the whole blood-line for ever. That’s why blond hair and blue eyes became black hair and dark skin. You know, it’s absolutely amazing to think that to this day, hundreds of years later, Sicilians still carry that ****** gene. No I’m quotin’ history. It’s written. It’s a fact.
COCCOTTI
(laughing)
I love this guy.
CLIFF
Your ancestors are niggers. Your great, great, great, great, great-grandmother ****ed a ******, and she had a half-****** kid. Now, if that is a fact. Tell me, am I lyin’? Cause you, you’re part eggplant.
COCCOTTI
(laughing)
You’re a cantaloupe.
Coccotti laughs heartily. He stands up and kisses Cliff on the head.
COCCOTTI
Beautiful.
Coccotti turns to Frankie and whispers something too him. When he turns back around he has a gun. He fires three times into Cliff’s head.
COCCOTTI
I haven’t killed anybody (shoots again) since 1984 (shoots again twice). Go to this comedian’s son’s apartment and come back with somethin’ that tells me where that asshole went so I can wipe this egg off of my face.
